Thursday, June 3, 2010

Breathing into a Paper Bag

The major grant application has been completed and sent away with restored optimism; the apartment is clean; my sister has arrived and is enjoying herself; my cooking has reached new heights; and the funding for Tuleeni's new land looks to be in place. All is going well here, yet I find myself in a panic, and in contrast to what would be normal, it is because things are going so well. I have had the disturbing realization that I leave in two weeks. I have built a way of life here - one which I am able to laugh, to sing loudly, to dance without restraint, and most importantly, to make a difference far beyond expectations.

Last year, when I returned home, I found it very hard to live happily with my at-home lifestyle. I struggled to go out with friends and to see value in the day-to-day routines of my Canadian home. Now, I tell myself that I will not face the same problems as I did last year, that I have dealt with this before. I tell myself this, but now it is without confidence. Truthfully, I would have to say that I have no idea how I will be when I return. What I can find comfort in now is that I know I can return. Last year, I left not knowing whether I would ever be back. But now, I know this is a place I will be throughout my life.

My work for White Orange Youth, Tuleeni, Moshi and Tanzania will not stop when I board the plane. This, for me, is a long term commitment, and that thought in itself also provides some comfort.

5 comments:

  1. Congrats Graeme!! Completing that grant application must be really exciting for you. Don't worry about coming home though, it won't be that bad. Life does exist outside of Peterborough ha ha. You can come visit me in Waterloo!!

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  2. 樂觀進取,勇往直前,持之以恒,是克服困難的妙方。 ............................................................

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  3. Camping in August? I plan on retreating quickly from Peterborough after I arrive. I figure being out in the middle of nowhere for a while will give me a little space to re-adjust.

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  4. 一個人的價值,應該看他貢獻了什麼,而不是他取得了什麼..................................................

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