So there are these people in this world who have blogs. They are bloggers. I feel as though i do not fit into this group of people, I am simply a person with a blog... I believe the best way to explain this would be to alude to a similar aspect of many of my friends' lives. There are Trent Students, and then there are students who go to Trent. I am a blogger as much as a non-button wearing, meat eating, white, straight male is a Trent Student.
So... I have a blog now. It's official... this is my first post of hopefully many. I intend to share the thoughts, experiences, and wonder i shall experience upon my travels to the other side of the world. Which brings me to my first topic: waiting.
I have spent the last two weeks waiting - waiting to pack, waiting to say goodbye to my friends, my family and my girlfriend, and waiting to leave. It is the waiting that is killing me. My life as i know it is about to be thrown out the window and all i can do is wait for it to happen.
I need to just go. I wish I could simply wake up and be there. I wish I could do it all in one quick motion, like the way you would rip off a bandaid. I can't. It will be long, it will be drawn out, and it will be hard. Luckily i have been surrounded by people who have been 100 % supportive.
I have shared my anxiety with a few people... yet for most I put on a brave face. I tell them all the things i know i believe, yet I just can't see at the moment. I tell them that three months goes by quickly; I tell them that I am just a little nervous; I tell them I whole-heartedly am looking forward to it. The truth: I am so afraid. I'm afraid I'm not strong enough. I'm afraid i will miss everyone the second I get there. I'm afraid that I will come back a different person, and that my friends will be different people and that what we have now will not exist when i get back. Yet, i know this will pass. (I hope this will pass).
When I get scared, I refer to one of the best pieces of advice I have ever heard: "Just keep swimming. Just keep swimming." I am swimming. My eyes might be closed... but I am still swimming.
The other day I my sister called me from Egypt. She too embarked on a scary, life changing adventure. I told her about my anxiety and she shared with me the perfect quote. The one i needed to hear... which she always does. She said, "The brave may not live long, but the cautious don't live at all."
I am scared shitless. I am excited beyond belief. I am sad. I am extatic.
I am going to Tanzania.
9 Days.
The goodbyes will start soon, let that be addressed in another blog.
Wish me luck, with my trip, and my blogging.
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dear brother with a blog...your biggest adventure is about to begin! LOVE YOU!
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Keep your eyes, ears, heart open to everything, soaking in everything- don't miss a second.
The most amazing part of being thrown out of your comfort zone...is just that. Of course you are afraid, but that's only because you have something ahead of you, the likes of which you've never felt before. What is more exciting about life than that?
I only wish I'd felt strongly enough to do something like this. Tell us every memorable detail! Will miss you greatly!
Graeme,
ReplyDeleteThis might be one of the biggest cliches you'll ever hear, but you really are starting a new chapter in your life. Just as the majority of your friends have done, moving away from home and starting something new is daunting, but very necissary. And just like we are gaining an education to prepare ourselves for the rest of our lives, you are gaining an experience that will guide you for the rest of your life.
You are inspirational for doing something like this and it's reassuring that there are truly great human beings in the world.
Remember to stay true to yourself and always know why you are going there because you will be trailblazing from here on in. You have already made a difference in the lives of many, tomorrow is merely momentum. Enjoy yourself, have fun, and don't forget about us small people!
Bon Voyage and enjoy the adventure!
-Dustin
Do you know which direction you are going? I hope you are still climbing up! (Ha HA) Have a great climb. Enjoy.
ReplyDeleteHI Graeme Trying this out, Aunt D
ReplyDeleteHi Graeme: This is your grandmother visiting Aunt Dee. Tried to get on this before and Uncle Cliff helped Aunt Dee so am taking adva ntage of this. \Loved your blogs so far. Lots of Love.
ReplyDeleteHi Graeme: Once again I am trying to send a note and hopefully this time will get it right. Terri really liked your commments on climbing the mountain. Lots of Love. Grandms
ReplyDeleteHi Graeme: you must be out and about or climbing the mountain again. Look forward to another post on your blog. Love Grandma
ReplyDeleteSounds like you have your work cut out for you. Keep well. Love Grandma
ReplyDeleteHi Graeme: Your blogs have been very interesting and educational to me. It is hard to imagine the things you are encountering. All you can do is to try your best at what you are assigned and hopefully it will make a difference to one person. Love Grandma
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